Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
