I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
