I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i drank out of a bidet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
3 2 1 whiskey
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
