Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
