That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
