Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
