Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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