Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
