she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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