just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize