So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
