I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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