Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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