Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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