FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
