It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize