drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
