Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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