can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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