What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
