I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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