She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
