I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
