shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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