Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
