Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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