Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
