i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
