If that was your dad, he is hot
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Found your dick twin last night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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