She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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