Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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