i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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