So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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