when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
