you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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