sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
