mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
