Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
