loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
