yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
