i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
