I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We're too hungover to prance.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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