cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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