Christians are straight up FREAKS
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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