You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
