evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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