I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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