yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize