Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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