he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
