i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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