I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
