Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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