apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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