I puked a lego.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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