I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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