You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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