she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
